The Biscuits

I was sitting in a bar last night with a friend, having dinner (seriously, only drank Pepsi). They had a baseball game on TV, between two teams identified only as "Mont" and "Jax". Now, "Jax" I can figure is probably Jacksonville (Florida); I was stationed there for two years when I was in the Navy, and that's their common nickname. So, OK, it's a minor league baseball game. I imagined at first that "Mont" was Montreal, but they just lost their major league team less than two years ago, would they already have a minor league team? Later, I learned that "Mont" was Montgomery, but that's not what's interesting about this game.

I'd heard of the Jacksonville Suns before. They may have even been around when I was stationed in Jacksonville back from 1982 til 1984. So that wasn't surprising to me at all. But, as I'm watching bits and pieces of the game, I'm trying to figure out what's written across the front of the Montgomery players' jerseys. It's really weird, it looks like "Biscuits". I kept looking, trying to get a clearer view, because seriously, no one in their right mind would call their team "the Biscuits", right?

Well, I kept looking and looking. After looking at several different players' jerseys, I came to a conclusion. Sure as shit, it said "Biscuits". The Montgomery Biscuits. Now, if you're an up-and-coming ballplayer, how in the hell can you sit through an interview with your hometown newspaper, and say "I'm the starting left-fielder for the Montgomery Biscuits" with a straight face?

I can see the sports section headlines: "Biscuits Get Burned, 3-2"... "Gravy Too Much For Biscuits"... "Biscuits Turn Cold, Lose to Rolls". I was even thinking of one for the game I was watching: "Suns Bake the Biscuits". But that one wouldn't have worked -- the Biscuits won, 4-2.

A quick check of the Montgomery Biscuits web site shows their slogan to be "Biscuits Baseball: A Recipe for Fun". I tried to come up with something witty to end this post, but I don't think I can top that!