Death By Croissan'wich
I don't think there's a whole lot that would spoil the culmination of a holiday weekend more than DEATH, especially if delivered via breakfast sandwich. And it almost happened to me yesterday.
I was driving to work and, as I have done so many times in the past, I stopped at Burger King to get breakfast. (It's a time-saver to eat on the way, and I've done it probably hundreds of times in the past... though more often at Mickey D's than BK... but I digress...)
First to go were the cheesy tots. (And by the way, these are the VERY BEST things you can possibly buy at a fast-food joint, and proof positive that God loves us.) Very yummy, but all in all, very uneventful.
Next was the sausage-egg-and-cheese croissan'wich (cue OMINOUS MUSIC). About halfway through this stage of the meal, apparently a little bit went down the wrong way. Accordingly, I began to choke. Now this type of problem would be bad enough, were I sitting in a cozy little breakfast nook somewhere. But no, that would be too FRIGGIN' simple. I was tooling down I-94 at about 75 miles per hour, cars whipping in and out of lanes, tractor-trailers too damn dense to know that they're not allowed to go more than 55 on Michigan highways, and generally speaking, various sorts of automotive mayhem and chaos going on (in other words, a typical Metro Detroit commute).
Well, there was no one around to perform the Heineken maneuver, so I slugged down some water and started coughing. Incidentally, my life did NOT flash before my eyes. In fact, the only thing going through my mind was that if I pass out now, I am SO screwed, and not in a good way. Anyway, I must have coughed for a few minutes, and finally the near-death experience passed. Damn, I didn't even get a chance to walk towards the light. (Although I was driving east, towards the morning sun, so maybe that counts?)
Anyway, it was a hard-fought struggle, but the final score was:
Jim 1, Croissan'wich 0.
BOO-YAH !!!
(Disclaimer: This article is not intended to cast aspersions on the Burger King Corporation, nor their food products, which are quite scrumptious, and 100% safe if used as directed.)
I was driving to work and, as I have done so many times in the past, I stopped at Burger King to get breakfast. (It's a time-saver to eat on the way, and I've done it probably hundreds of times in the past... though more often at Mickey D's than BK... but I digress...)
First to go were the cheesy tots. (And by the way, these are the VERY BEST things you can possibly buy at a fast-food joint, and proof positive that God loves us.) Very yummy, but all in all, very uneventful.
Next was the sausage-egg-and-cheese croissan'wich (cue OMINOUS MUSIC). About halfway through this stage of the meal, apparently a little bit went down the wrong way. Accordingly, I began to choke. Now this type of problem would be bad enough, were I sitting in a cozy little breakfast nook somewhere. But no, that would be too FRIGGIN' simple. I was tooling down I-94 at about 75 miles per hour, cars whipping in and out of lanes, tractor-trailers too damn dense to know that they're not allowed to go more than 55 on Michigan highways, and generally speaking, various sorts of automotive mayhem and chaos going on (in other words, a typical Metro Detroit commute).
Well, there was no one around to perform the Heineken maneuver, so I slugged down some water and started coughing. Incidentally, my life did NOT flash before my eyes. In fact, the only thing going through my mind was that if I pass out now, I am SO screwed, and not in a good way. Anyway, I must have coughed for a few minutes, and finally the near-death experience passed. Damn, I didn't even get a chance to walk towards the light. (Although I was driving east, towards the morning sun, so maybe that counts?)
Anyway, it was a hard-fought struggle, but the final score was:
Jim 1, Croissan'wich 0.
BOO-YAH !!!
(Disclaimer: This article is not intended to cast aspersions on the Burger King Corporation, nor their food products, which are quite scrumptious, and 100% safe if used as directed.)
Labels: cheesy tots
posted by Jim McKee at 5:39 PM
8 Comments:
So what did you learn?? DO NOT EAT AT BK??? LOL :o)
I am sure that a McD's breakfast would not have caused such irratic driving on I-94!!! LOL ;o)
I too am a McD's lover...No more of that for 3 weeks...MUST fit into this damn dress.... GRRRRR
I like the Steak, Egg and Cheese Bagel from Mickey D's with a flat egg instead of a folded one and give me some pepper too. These I know, are not the smartest thing to be eating driving either....
Not that it will be a big issue for me as I can't even get one here in Canada.... Canada has BLT bagels though.... These are only a good bet of you're not really hungry...LOL and if you are not really hungry why get fast food at all?
You are sooooo going for the BK freebies hook-up. I can feel it.
Next time, honk really loud and I will rush north to I-94 and save you.
And take your OJ and tater tots.
You can HAVE my tater tots, I have completely forsaken them in favor of "CHEESY TOTS"!
And I don't know about BK freebies, more like just trying to avoid a BK lawsuit, LOL!
I am generally a Mickey D's girl myself, but you if you want a really big delicious breakfast of doom - you can't beat BK's Enormous Omelet Sandwich. You can have a coronary just sniffing it.. . ..
Oooh, I tried the Enormous Sandwich once... Man, it was like a trip to the buffet on a bun. I felt like crap the rest of the day.
The breakfast of champions -- NOT!!
My enormous husband didn't think the Enormous Omelet Sandwich was enormous. LOL I guess it is all relative, I will have to tell Mr Buffet Addict that it is considered to be a trip to the buffet on a bun... After all, if I read it on line it's got to be true, eh?
The only enormous thing in my life is my ghetto bottie...LOL ;o) JK
Go for the freebies....LOL ;o)
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