I Killed The Toaster
Remember the Bob Marley song, "I Shot The Sheriff"? (Or, perhaps the Eric Clapton cover version?) OK, same melody, new lyrics:
I killed the toaster
But I didn't kill the microwave
I killed the toaster
Cuz I thought it was an autoclave...
Yeah, mon... err, man... I am SOOO guilty of the crime. But I did have the best of intentions. Now excuse me, I have to go pave the road to Hell.
You know how we're always trying to expand the horizons of our household appliaces? Take the television, for example. First, it was for watching whatever the big 3 broadcast networks decided to dish out to us. Eventually, we began to branch out, with videotapes, game consoles, DVD players, now we're even hooking our TV's up to computer networks. The concept is simple enough: Take an old, familiar appliance, and associate it with some new, previously unassigned task. Should be simple, anyway.
After my son's graduation party about a week and a half ago (which most of the world calls an "open house"), I became the proud owner of a bag of grilled hamburgers, in their buns, frozen in my freezer. So, to eat one of these succulent treats, I pop it into the microwave, hitting the Defrost setting for about a minute. That gets it just defrosted enough that you can separate the bun from the burger with a table knife. You don't want to microwave a bread product too long, or it will become "icky" (apologies for the use of technical jargon). After the separation process has been completed, the burger patty can go back into the microwave for about a minute. This leaves the bun, which is still cold.
I had the brilliant idea of putting a piece of aluminum foil over the toaster, putting the bun halves on the foil, and pressing the "toast" lever down (as you would if a bread product was actually "in" the toaster -- I know, what an odd concept). Results? Kind of a "good news, bad news" scenario. The good news? Worked perfectly to warm up the buns. The bad news? Having the foil over the top in this manner keeps in the heat that would normally be released into the surrounding air. This excess heat was manifested mainly in either end of the toaster, serving to melt the plastic ends of the device. But not to worry, the toaster was going on 12 years old; I bought a new toaster at Wal-Mart (and word to the wise: they don't put the really cheap stuff on Wal-Mart's web site, because I pre-shopped for the toaster, and thought it was going to cost me over $20.... pleasantly surprised).
Two slices of bread: $0.33
New toaster: $6.54
Lesson on thermal dynamics: Priceless.
I killed the toaster
But I didn't kill the microwave
I killed the toaster
Cuz I thought it was an autoclave...
Yeah, mon... err, man... I am SOOO guilty of the crime. But I did have the best of intentions. Now excuse me, I have to go pave the road to Hell.
You know how we're always trying to expand the horizons of our household appliaces? Take the television, for example. First, it was for watching whatever the big 3 broadcast networks decided to dish out to us. Eventually, we began to branch out, with videotapes, game consoles, DVD players, now we're even hooking our TV's up to computer networks. The concept is simple enough: Take an old, familiar appliance, and associate it with some new, previously unassigned task. Should be simple, anyway.
After my son's graduation party about a week and a half ago (which most of the world calls an "open house"), I became the proud owner of a bag of grilled hamburgers, in their buns, frozen in my freezer. So, to eat one of these succulent treats, I pop it into the microwave, hitting the Defrost setting for about a minute. That gets it just defrosted enough that you can separate the bun from the burger with a table knife. You don't want to microwave a bread product too long, or it will become "icky" (apologies for the use of technical jargon). After the separation process has been completed, the burger patty can go back into the microwave for about a minute. This leaves the bun, which is still cold.
I had the brilliant idea of putting a piece of aluminum foil over the toaster, putting the bun halves on the foil, and pressing the "toast" lever down (as you would if a bread product was actually "in" the toaster -- I know, what an odd concept). Results? Kind of a "good news, bad news" scenario. The good news? Worked perfectly to warm up the buns. The bad news? Having the foil over the top in this manner keeps in the heat that would normally be released into the surrounding air. This excess heat was manifested mainly in either end of the toaster, serving to melt the plastic ends of the device. But not to worry, the toaster was going on 12 years old; I bought a new toaster at Wal-Mart (and word to the wise: they don't put the really cheap stuff on Wal-Mart's web site, because I pre-shopped for the toaster, and thought it was going to cost me over $20.... pleasantly surprised).
Two slices of bread: $0.33
New toaster: $6.54
Lesson on thermal dynamics: Priceless.
posted by Jim McKee at 3:04 PM
3 Comments:
LOL! Maybe next time poke a few holes in the foil? *If* there is ever a next time. LOL! Thanks for the entertaining story!
Robyn
A new toaster for $6.54? I guess at that price you could try the foil thing with a few holes... But remember, too many foiled attempts (sorry I had to say it) and you could have popped for a wide slot toaster to accommodate your buns....
This is one of those comments that just keeps getting better
LOL Fatgyrl...Youfunny!
Jim: ROFLMAO!!!!
This is a classic bacholor move onthe old cooking in a hurry routine. ;o) My ex roomie boiled a pan dry and then I got to see what pans do when left on an electric element for 6 hours. YEP. That was a fun morning of WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN?!?!??! Followed by.."Adios M-Fers again?" conversation...(adios M-Fers is a dangerous drink/shot and should no..I SAY NOT drank unsupervised!!!)
*snort* still laughing.
Glad you are OK!
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