Arse!
Driving to work today was an experience, to say the least. The first strange thing was an accident on the freeway that had traffic backed up for several miles. This caused me to have to back up on the shoulder for a couple hundred feet, so that I could use the exit ramp to make a quick getaway, and take a good detour. Except that boatloads of other people had the same idea... so I ended up having to take a detour around the detour.
So, half an hour later (covering a distance that normally takes 5-6 minutes -- ARGGH!!), I'm tooling along on the freeway at normal speed, when I encounter one of those large digital signs. You know the kind: the ones that have traffic or road construction messages such as, "Bulgarian freedom fighters have seized I-94, one mile ahead. Seek alternate route." Only this one was having some major signal issues. Instead of words, this particular sign was showing mostly random groups of dots (maybe it was in Braille?). In the midst of all those dots, there was only one legible word:
I have no idea what kind of subliminal message the highway department was trying to send (Kevin Nealon, where are you when we really need you?), but based on my morning, it would work for me, as long as I could attach the words "KISS MY" onto the front of it.
So, half an hour later (covering a distance that normally takes 5-6 minutes -- ARGGH!!), I'm tooling along on the freeway at normal speed, when I encounter one of those large digital signs. You know the kind: the ones that have traffic or road construction messages such as, "Bulgarian freedom fighters have seized I-94, one mile ahead. Seek alternate route." Only this one was having some major signal issues. Instead of words, this particular sign was showing mostly random groups of dots (maybe it was in Braille?). In the midst of all those dots, there was only one legible word:
ARSE!(For any half-brainers who might be reading this, the term "arse" is what the British use when they mean to say "ass". Not "ass" as in donkey, but "ass" as in "You have a fat ass". Why don't they just say "ass"? I have no idea, but I like the British, and "arse" sounds pretty cool, anyway.)
I have no idea what kind of subliminal message the highway department was trying to send (Kevin Nealon, where are you when we really need you?), but based on my morning, it would work for me, as long as I could attach the words "KISS MY" onto the front of it.
posted by Jim McKee at 11:48 AM
6 Comments:
That's us for you! We Brits can be eccentric.
The word "arse" can be used in many more ways than the word "ass". It can be used as a singular expletive whereas in Yaxlich's limited understanding of America, which until recently he didn't even know had the internet, it must be used in conjunction with adjectives or descriptive terms.
In some parts of England they do pronounce arse as ass. These tend to be people from the northern part of the country where they don't wash much and smell of gravy.
Yax, thanks for the arse info, man. I never knew there was so much one could know about arse!
Too funny!
If you weren't driving on the freeway, you could have taken a picture.
Avoid I94 at all costs. Satan owns it. Write that down. Learn it. Live it.
That's too funny.
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