In My Heart Of Hearts

First of all, I'd like to know who came up with that phrase. So that they can be beaten senseless. Because, even though I use it from time to time, it really doesn't stand up well under examination. It's fairly dorky sounding, to be quite honest.

How do you go about telling your heart "no"? As children, we always hated that word. It carries such negative connotations, even into our adult lives. We like to think that once we've reached the age of majority, we can say or do as we please, as long as it doesn't hurt others, and we can have nearly anything we desire, if we're willing to work hard enough. But what if that were not the case?

Read more...

What if you feel that a certain situation would be so right, so incredible, so awesome... but yet, you just cannot get there. There is an obstruction in your way, one that is, for practical purposes, insurmountable. Do you bide your time? Continue to think about alternative solutions? At what point does it become a lost cause? Do you take a logical approach and cast everything analytically? Or do you go with your heart, and throw rationality to the wind?

I've always considered myself an optimist. I like to think that, given enough time, most things will eventually work out. And although I'm not a control freak, if I am hoping for a certain outcome, I like to be able to take steps towards making it happen. For my tastes, it's better to be proactive. But what if you CANNOT be proactive? What if you might ruin something by being proactive? Am I too impatient to just sit still with my fingers crossed? Maybe... but the potential rewards in this instance are enormous, to say the least. (So enormous as to be life-changing... and I don't use that term lightly.)

So, although I don't have much hope (hope is not dead, per se, but I would say that hope is in a comatose state, and on life support), I hope to have hope once again someday. In the meantime, what I do have is loads of questions... most of which, I don't have answers to. But the one question that I cannot dismiss from my mind is: "What if?"

I know the answer I'd like to see... in my heart of hearts.