Speaking French
"It's like the French have a different word for everything."
Recently, I made a reference to "yet another reason to hate the damn French". In the interest of fairness, I would like to examine a very valid reason to like the French: their language turns chicks on. All you have to say is "Oui, oui" and women start drooling all over themselves, even though, in essence, it's no different than saying "wee-wee".
But I like to think of myself as a guy who can adapt to just about any given set of circumstances. So, with that in mind, I have now mastered three sentences in French:
Astute readers may recognize these sentences as occurring in popular songs over the years. Mere coincidence, I assure you.
- Steve Martin
"You know what I'd really want to speak? I'd like to learn how to speak French, cuz that's some cool shit, French. You can say 'I gotta shit' in French and it would sound good."
- Eddie MurphyRecently, I made a reference to "yet another reason to hate the damn French". In the interest of fairness, I would like to examine a very valid reason to like the French: their language turns chicks on. All you have to say is "Oui, oui" and women start drooling all over themselves, even though, in essence, it's no different than saying "wee-wee".
But I like to think of myself as a guy who can adapt to just about any given set of circumstances. So, with that in mind, I have now mastered three sentences in French:
I believe any or all of these may come in handy at some point in time, especially should I travel to Quebec... or (shudder) France itself.And before you even ask, yes, I know what all three mean. However, our friends at Babelfish are much more efficient at translating than I could ever hope to be:1. Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble.
2. Apres tous les beaux jours je te dis merci merci.
3. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
1. These are words that go together well.
2. After all the beautiful days I say to you thank you thank you.
3. Do you want to sleep with me this evening?
Astute readers may recognize these sentences as occurring in popular songs over the years. Mere coincidence, I assure you.
So, anyway, there's my plan: To conquer the French language (and in so doing, to turn chicks on) one sentence at a time. If all else fails, I can always fall back to the old Cheech & Chong catch-phrase:
Parlez-vous humma humma?
posted by Jim McKee at 12:39 PM
12 Comments:
Italian is a far more romantic language....belissimo!
I just spent a lot of time perusing your blog...I should be preparing for my kid's birthday party, making treat bags and what not...but I was riveted. I now have several different songs running through my head, as well as a crazy need to go watch Rain Man...Also, I took high school French and while it is a lovely language, it doesn't sound so good coming out of a teenage boys mouth...The only phrase my husband knows is, "Je voudrais un omelete du fromage", which means, I'd like a cheese omelet. I'm very sure I butchered the French spelling, but since this isn't France, I think that's ok. LOL. I enjoyed your blog, and I guess that's what this rambling comment was supposed to say!
I think the only one you need is #3. And French is overrated!
I get occasional pre-recorded phone messages when I answer the phone that are in French....LOL I don't listen to incomming calls in English why would I listen in French?
Spanish.
That's my language of choice. Okay, that's incorrect. My language of choice is English. Then Tagalog and then Spanish.
I get telemarketers who call me up and start speaking Spanish to me all the time. It drives me nuts because then I get my Spanish and Tagalog mixed up in an effort to tell them to f'k off in Spanish.
French doesn't do it for me!
I like a British accent, which is hard to convey in writing.
ps...you are on my list! 0-:
psps...list of people to link the next time I am updating that part of my blog.
Jim, Great site!...I once lived in Belleville(New Jersey)....and of course you knew that the Willard movie came before the Ben movie...you were born in the year of the rat :)....Bruno
~ahem~
I beleive you just asked the whole blog community to sleep with you? LOL ;o)
Hussy! ;o)
Whenever people speak to me in Spanish, I say, "Yo no hablo molestar un gato." They give me a weird look and walk away. I think I'm saying, "I don't speak cat molestor."
Found your blog coming from Sean's. Charming quips, entertaining. I used to think the French men sounded sexy, but since now we know the whole country is comprised of cowards, they don't sound so sexy anymore :)
"I used to think the French men sounded sexy, but since now we know the whole country is comprised of cowards, they don't sound so sexy anymore :)"
Kind of an ignorant thing to say.
My grandfather fought in World War II and was no coward. Get your facts straight lady.
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