Waterboarding vs. Snowboarding
I heard this story this morning on the radio on my drive in to work (text provided by United Press International):
U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has sparked controversy with comments advocating the use of "a dunk in water" as an interrogation technique.
Human rights activists have said Cheney's comments, made during an interview with conservative radio host Scott Hennen, amounted to advocating the use of a controversial interrogation technique called waterboarding, The Washington Post reported Friday.
Now, being an intelligent conservative (hush, you in the peanut gallery), I figured I'd do my patriotic duty and lend the Veep a hand. I mean, I wouldn't want him to get all frustrated and have to go hunting or something.
We've heard for years that positive reinforcement works way better than negative reinforcement. So, instead of threatening people with waterboarding, why not entice them with snowboarding? I can see it now, CIA interrogators are in a small, dimly lit room, where a man of Middle Eastern descent is sitting in a chair, handcuffed...
"Come on, Ahmad, play nice with us, and we'll send you to Aspen for a week."
Think about it, this could lead to a whole new crop of countries competing in the Extreme Games.
Alternately, for those who aren't so athletically inclined, maybe one of those cool snowboarding video games (probably still better than waterboarding).
OK, I'm still thinkin' here... For would-be suicide bombers: they're all hung up on that 72 virgins thing... Why don't we up the ante? We'll give ya 75 virgins, a couple of kegs of beer, a plasma TV, and a lifetime supply of hot wings... the catch is, ya gotta NOT blow yourself up. Capisce?
I think I'm onto somethin'...
Cheney comments spark controversy
U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has sparked controversy with comments advocating the use of "a dunk in water" as an interrogation technique.
Human rights activists have said Cheney's comments, made during an interview with conservative radio host Scott Hennen, amounted to advocating the use of a controversial interrogation technique called waterboarding, The Washington Post reported Friday.
Now, being an intelligent conservative (hush, you in the peanut gallery), I figured I'd do my patriotic duty and lend the Veep a hand. I mean, I wouldn't want him to get all frustrated and have to go hunting or something.
We've heard for years that positive reinforcement works way better than negative reinforcement. So, instead of threatening people with waterboarding, why not entice them with snowboarding? I can see it now, CIA interrogators are in a small, dimly lit room, where a man of Middle Eastern descent is sitting in a chair, handcuffed...
"Come on, Ahmad, play nice with us, and we'll send you to Aspen for a week."
Think about it, this could lead to a whole new crop of countries competing in the Extreme Games.
Alternately, for those who aren't so athletically inclined, maybe one of those cool snowboarding video games (probably still better than waterboarding).
OK, I'm still thinkin' here... For would-be suicide bombers: they're all hung up on that 72 virgins thing... Why don't we up the ante? We'll give ya 75 virgins, a couple of kegs of beer, a plasma TV, and a lifetime supply of hot wings... the catch is, ya gotta NOT blow yourself up. Capisce?
I think I'm onto somethin'...
posted by Jim McKee at 11:29 AM
7 Comments:
Good luck on finding 75 virgins.
The peanut gallery voted... 9-1. YOU ARE A KOOKY NUT... cute, but kooky. I, of course, obstained from voting due to conflict of interest, lol. xoxo
maybe the positive reinforcement of a peaceful world will get everyone to behave.
And for the women who are not athletically inclined, some Coach bags!
Cool, dude
Just surfed in. I like it.
Ummmm pretty amusing thought I guess, but I would much rather just use the conventional methods.
Give them the whole do unto others line and strap 20 lbs of C4 to their ass's.
You don't want to talk?
Blow their sorry asses up. Next!
Now serving number 100,253
Life on Planet Jim is evolving into a possible genius status. I can just see Habib racing down the hill in his snowbunny suit in mad pursuit of life (oops...death by martyrdome), liberty (oops...Islamofacism), and the pursuit of 75 virgins, a plasma TV, and the keg of beer!
Great plan, except that the dumbasses don't EVEN have a clue of what $25MILLION dollars can buy.
Shit, if I had ANY CLUE where the 6'4" dude with a kidney machine was, I'd collect that reward so fast, their little Mohammed heads would spin like a top! Great blog as always.
Thanks for coming by Blah Blah Blog - The Soap Box
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