Tiger Pride

The 2006 edition of the World Series ended Friday evening, as the St. Louis Cardinals emerged victorious over the Detroit Tigers, four games to one, with a 4-2 victory in the fifth and final game. The Tigers were plagued by too many errors, as well as bats that were silent far too many times. I have to give the Cardinals their proper respect. When it was necessary, they got it done. They executed, and the Tigers didn't. So, the Cards are the World Series champions, and they deserve it. But... enough about them.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't disappointed in the outcome of the World Series. But overall, the Detroit Tigers gave us one helluva thrill ride in 2006. In 2005, the Tigers were 71-91, and finished 28 games out of first place. But 2006 began the era of manager Jim Leyland. I know many had hopes that he could turn the team around, but no one really knew how quickly it would happen. The Tigers took sole possession of first place in the American League Central division in mid-May, and stayed there until the last week of the season, just barely missing the divisional crown, and making the playoffs in the wild-card slot.

And even then, they weren't supposed to get past the New York Yankees. Remember, the Yankees were all but anointed with the World Series title before a single playoff game was played? But that's why they play the games, instead of just comparing stats. Not only did they beat the Yankees, but swept the Oakland A's as well.

If the core of the team remains intact, as it probably will, the Tigers should continue to contend for a playoff berth for many years to come. The Detroit Tigers, your 2006 American League champions. I am damn proud of them.

Waterboarding vs. Snowboarding

I heard this story this morning on the radio on my drive in to work (text provided by United Press International):

Cheney comments spark controversy

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has sparked controversy with comments advocating the use of "a dunk in water" as an interrogation technique.

Human rights activists have said Cheney's comments, made during an interview with conservative radio host Scott Hennen, amounted to advocating the use of a controversial interrogation technique called waterboarding, The Washington Post reported Friday.

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Now, being an intelligent conservative (hush, you in the peanut gallery), I figured I'd do my patriotic duty and lend the Veep a hand. I mean, I wouldn't want him to get all frustrated and have to go hunting or something.

We've heard for years that positive reinforcement works way better than negative reinforcement. So, instead of threatening people with waterboarding, why not entice them with snowboarding? I can see it now, CIA interrogators are in a small, dimly lit room, where a man of Middle Eastern descent is sitting in a chair, handcuffed...

"Come on, Ahmad, play nice with us, and we'll send you to Aspen for a week."

Think about it, this could lead to a whole new crop of countries competing in the Extreme Games.

Alternately, for those who aren't so athletically inclined, maybe one of those cool snowboarding video games (probably still better than waterboarding).

OK, I'm still thinkin' here... For would-be suicide bombers: they're all hung up on that 72 virgins thing... Why don't we up the ante? We'll give ya 75 virgins, a couple of kegs of beer, a plasma TV, and a lifetime supply of hot wings... the catch is, ya gotta NOT blow yourself up. Capisce?

I think I'm onto somethin'...

Now, Cut That Out!

When you publish a blog, you have to accept the possibility that you may acquire a following, whether you want one or not (although with Blogger Beta, you can set it up to where only people you list can see/read your blog, but we'll ignore that little fact for sake of this discussion). Keeping that in mind, isn't it fair to be considerate of said following, especially when you've interacted with them in some way?

If you decide you no longer wish to continue to maintain a blog, there are two ways you can end it. The first way is with a proper goodbye, as I noted the other day. (Although she has now taken down even her goodbye post, it was up for 4 or 5 days, long enough for regular readers to see it.) The second way is just to vanish without a trace. A little while ago, I went to read Tiffanie's blog, and got the old "Blogger: 404 - Page not found" message. I just read her blog yesterday; today, it's non-existent. Someone else I used to read did that a couple of weeks ago.

Just my opinion, of course, but once you know other people are reading your stuff, isn't it rude not to say goodbye? Now if there was something catastrophic going on, like someone was stalking you, and your blog might give the stalker clues to find you, then it could be understood that you might just blow the whole thing up, without warning. But, what are the odds of that happening? Chances are, the person either got bored with it, realized they were spending too much time doing it, or no longer had a need for it. And I can understand all of those reasons.

But, for Pete's sake, give us a couple seconds, will ya? Say goodbye, so we know what's up. It doesn't have to be long, drawn-out or emotional. Maybe just a brief paragraph, saying that you're "moving on to the next phase of your life" (or something else equally as vague). That way, our imaginations don't start to run wild, thinking that maybe you got smushed by a bread truck whilst walking to the local pub, and your anal-retentive sister discovered your blog and deleted it to preserve your family's good name (especially with YOUR family... SHEESH!).

This Is The Story of a Blog...

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven..."

-- Ecclesiastes 3:1

A blogger whose reading I've always liked, "Trouble in Shangri-La", author of the Dubious Wonder blog, has decided to call it quits. Sad for me... I will miss her writing. However, she said she started her blog with the purpose of healing, and she's achieved that goal. I am happy for her, and of course, I wish her well. Besides, once you've achieved your goal, that goal then becomes a moot point. Time to set a new goal, right?

Once I read her farewell, that got me thinking about my own little corner of the 'Net. I've owned the JimMcKee.com domain for a couple of years now. I came to own it almost as a reflex. Several years ago, the person who owned JimMcKee.com had a truly awful, ugly web site up. It was full of just the tackiest web work you could imagine. I vowed to myself that if the domain were ever available, I would grab it, just to save the world from that kind of nonsense being attached to a great name like Jim McKee.

So, a couple of years ago, I checked it on a whim. Surprisingly, it was finally available, so I leapt at the chance. But, the next question was: What to do with the thing? My original idea was that I wanted to do something similar to a newspaper column, with the exception that, since I wasn't being paid by anyone, I would therefore not be answering to anyone except my own conscience (which tends to be the 800-pound gorilla, should I go astray). Yes, I was going to be the next George Will, pontificating about the issues of the day as I saw fit. The only thing stopping me was my own laziness. I know how to make web sites, but really, if I was going to create content for the thing on a regular basis, I knew I didn't want to get bogged down with techy stuff.

So, what did I do? Nothing.... well, except think about it. A lot. Kicking around different ideas. I actually envisioned a banner that would resemble a newspaper masthead. Blogs? Yeah, I'd heard of them. Online versions of people's diaries, right? Not exactly what I'd had in mind.

Fast-forward to March of this year. A good friend of mine (actually, I'd hoped it would develop into more, but c'est la vie...) turned me on to her blog. It let me see a whole 'nother side of her... but also opened my eyes to the current State of the Blog. From there, I started random blog surfing, which got me thinking once again about launching my web site... only as a blog. And it wouldn't be so much about current events, but more about my sense of humor and my creativity. That, my friends, is the point at which JimMcKee.com was conceived. (So, you can disregard those stories about the back seat of a '65 Mustang.)

To bring the whole thing full-circle, what do I hope to achieve with this site? In my wildest dreams, I would like to get a contract for a book of humorous essays, and from there, a nationally syndicated radio talk show. Nothing serious, like Sean Hannity or Al Franken, but something kind of fun and light. Will it come true? Who knows? Stranger things have happened. Courtney Cox got her chance at fame from being in the front row at a Bruce Springsteen concert, got pulled up on stage, it was captured for a music video, and the rest is history. My point is that, if I personally have any healing to do, this ain't it. (Or is it? They say that laughter is the best medicine.) Either way, don't expect me to pack it in any time soon.

Oh, and I do have one other purpose for this site: to keep the JimMcKee.com domain out of the hands of dweebs.

Streamlined, for YOUR Pleasure

Well, you may or may not have noticed, but I have shuffled things around a bit, and streamlined the design of the place in the process.

Specifically, I've moved my lists over to the left sidebar, and converted each list into a collapsible group. (Click on one of the team names, for example, and you'll see what I mean.)

To me, it seems much cleaner and neater. On the other hand, it also adds more stuff that I'll have to convert when I finally get the chance to switch to Blogger Beta.

Ack!

Testicular Fortitude

Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" Keep that question in mind, dear reader, as you ponder the following story from the News-Press of Fort Myers, Florida...

Beach food festival keeps name
Councilman names six other cities that use similar name
By Pedro Morales

Organizers of a Fort Myers Beach food festival can keep their name, despite concerns about the propriety of the word and the island's virtue.

The Fort Myers Beach council voted 4-1 Monday to allow the Surf Club bar to use the Turkey Testicle Festival name after a laugh-out-loud discussion.

"This would be the fourth annual Turkey Testicle Festival. ... The fiber of our town has not unraveled," said Councilman Charles Meador.

"Byron, Illinois, will be celebrating its 28th annual Turkey Testicle Festival," said Meador, who then listed at least six more cities who host annual events with the name testicle.

"Who cares what the name is. ... money is going for a worthy cause," Mayor Dennis Boback said.

The festival, which has drawn about 300 people, has raised about $3,000 for the Harry Chapin Food Bank in each of its past three years. A change in Beach policy that requires the Town Council to approve special events brought the issue of the name to the table two weeks ago.

Councilmen Bill Shenko and Garr Reynolds had said the name is inappropriate for a family island. They asked that the word testicle be removed from the name and all advertising.

Shenko reversed his position Monday and supported the testicle name. Reynolds continued his opposition.

"We do have youngsters here. We're trying to uplift their thinking," said Reynolds, the lone dissenting vote.

"I think the island is losing its sense of humor," Councilman Don Massucco said. "It's a generic term, it's used everywhere."

Bruce Cermak, Surf Club owner, left the meeting with teary eyes from laughing so much. He said he has received a lot of phone calls and jokes since the controversy began and expects more people to attend the fundraiser.

"Something good always comes out of adversity," Cermak said.

The testicles, which are deep fried and dipped in a variety of sauces, are what make the festival such a novelty, supporters have said. Their logo — a frightened turkey with his arms covering his groin — is one of the best-selling T-shirts on the Beach.

"I am glad we didn't sit here and argue about semantics," said Beach resident Carrie Hill.

"There are plenty across the country who are not offended by a testicle festival," she said. "Only turkeys seem to have a reason to be upset."

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There's not a lot I can add to that, except that I'm glad they had the balls to go through with it.

Christopher Glenn (1938-2006)

Veteran newsman Christopher Glenn died yesterday from liver cancer. He was 68. He was long known for his work at CBS News, both on television and on the radio.

Read more...

Christopher Glenn was probably the first newscaster that I can remember. It takes me back to the early 1970's, when he was the host of a short program called In The News, which aired between cartoons on Saturday morning. The segments were great, because they dealt with current news stories on a kid's level, but they didn't talk down to kids. That, more than anything else, is probably the cause of my being a lifelong news junkie.

Glenn just retired in February of this year. That really strikes me as sad, to pass away a mere eight months after you retire. He leaves behind a wife, two daughters, and a sister.

He was a real "tell it like it is" newsman, with a personable, yet no-nonsense style. He was one of the most heard newscasters during the Challenger disaster in 1986. He summed up what a nation was feeling: "A great tragedy here. This flight, which was to have been such a bright chapter in the history of the manned space flight program, turning in the flash of an instant into a terrible, terrible tragedy." In a couple of weeks, Glenn will be posthumously inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame.

Christopher Glenn had a career that one can be proud of. Rest in peace.

(Some information gathered from Wikipedia and CBS News.)

World Series Bound!

Back in April, if you would've told me that the Detroit Tigers would be playing in the World Series this year, I probably would've wondered if you were a crack addict. Seriously, although the Tigers have been my favorite sports team since I was a teeny-tiny lad, they'd not had a winning season in 13 years. 1984 was but a dim (but wonderful) memory, being the last time the team had appeared in that ultimate sports showdown.

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But, allegations of your addiction aside, here they are. Saturday night, the Detroit Tigers clinched the American League pennant, completing a four-game sweep of the Oakland Athletics with a 6-3 victory that was punctuated with a three-run walk-off home run by Magglio Ordoñez. (SIDE NOTE: Oakland's Frank Thomas is nicknamed "The Big Hurt"... but he went O-for-13 in this series... my new nickname for him: The Mild Inconvenience.) It was pandemoniom (or fandemonium?) in Detroit Saturday night following the game... but in a good way. No rioting, no burning of police cars... more like lots of hugs, high-fives, whooping and hollering. Finally, the erstwhile Hockeytown reverted to Tigertown.

It's been 22 years since the Tigers appeared in the World Series (in a ridiculously lopsided four games to one victory over the San Diego Padres). Let's see... the critics picked the New York Yankees to beat the Tigers... they were wrong. The critics picked the Oakland A's to beat the Tigers... they were wrong. Now, I'm waiting to see whether it'll be the Mets or the Cardinals who end up playing the Tigers in the World Series... so the critics can pick them to beat the Tigers... and be wrong.

Go Get 'Em, Tigers
We're all behind our baseball team
Go get 'em, Tigers
World Series bound and pickin' up steam
Go get 'em, Tigers
There'll be joy in Tiger Town
We'll sing you songs
When the Bengals bring the pennant home
Where it belongs
We're all behind our baseball team
Go get 'em
Detroit Tigers
Go get 'em, Tigers!

Favorite quote: "That Polanco guy is a pain." -- Oakland A's relief pitcher Huston Street.

A Tale of Two Goobers

Here in Michigan, we are in the midst of a heated gubernatorial campaign. Now that, in and of itself, is not especially noteworthy. But the thing that catches my eye, the thing that I practically obsess about, is the word "gubernatorial". The first two syllables are pronounced "goober". Who was the Einstein who thought that one up? How the hell can news anchors keep a straight face when they have to say "goober" several times during a news program? (Not applicable if it's a special segment looking back at the old "Andy Griffith Show".)

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We have had the "old" goober (not literally old) for four years, and now we have the "new" goober... or more appropriately, the goober-wanna-be. Personally, I always preferred Raisinets, but that's just me.

Maybe we can start a petition to replace the word "governor" with the word "goober". That would certainly liven up state politics, wouldn't it? (One notable exception: British people would still be encouraged to use the word "governor", 'cause it just sounds cool to hear a British person say " 'Ello, Gov'nor!")

So, no matter who you're voting for, don't forget to go out on November 7th and vote for your favorite goober. If you don't vote, then all your bitching and whining is nothing more than a hollow pile of bullshit. (Don't worry, I'll remind you again when it gets closer.)

Funeral Music

Bambi tagged me with this meme, which is supposed to be "what music would you like played at your funeral?" So, here are two by the Beatles that I would like played at my funeral...

I'm Only Sleeping
When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream

Please don't wake me
No, don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleeping

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy
Running everywhere at such a speed
Till they find, there's no need

Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping

Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time

Lying there and staring at the ceiling
Waiting for a sleepy feeling

Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping

Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time

When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream

Please don't wake me
No, don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleeping

I'll Be Back Again
You know if you break my heart I'll go,
But I'll be back again,
'Cause I told you once before goodbye,
But I came back again.

I love you so
I'm the one who wants you,
Yes, I'm the one
Who wants you, oh ho, oh ho, oh

You could find better things to do,
Than to break my heart again,
This time I will try to show that I'm
Not trying to pretend.

I thought that you would realize
That if I ran away from you
That you would want me too,
But I got a big surprise,
Oh ho, oh ho, oh

You could find better things to do,
Than to break my heart again,
This time I will try to show that I'm
Not trying to pretend.

I wanna go but I hate to leave you,
You know I hate to leave you , oh ho, oh ho, oh
You know, if you break my heart I'll go,
But I'll be back again.

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All right, I was just kidding with those, but I like to freak people out with the song titles.

Actually, what I really want is just about any gospel music by Elvis... such as this. (That oughta make DeAnna smile!)

I'm not going to tag anyone, since the folks I'd like to tag seem to be fairly busy with life in general right about now. Plus, what a morbid subject... SHEESH!! (Consider yourselves lucky that I didn't say "The Monster Mash"!!!)

Lost Weekend

This past weekend was truly a lost weekend for me. Not in a "party your ass off like you're in 'Animal House'" kind of way... more like a "I've got a cold and it's really knocking me for a loop" kind of way. So I hibernated. I literally did not leave my apartment from Friday evening when I got home from work, until this morning when I left for work. Luckily, I had plenty of groceries. I didn't even have to do laundry, as I already had clean clothes for today.

One thing I did do was watch the Detroit Tigers beat the New York Yankees in baseball's American League Divisional Series, 3 games to 1. After the Tigers lost the first game, all the pundits were anointing the Yanks World Series champions. (By the way, how does one get a job as a pundit? You obviously don't have to have a lot of knowledge on your given subject.) But underdog is a role that suits this Tigers team; they proved that heart and hunger CAN beat a 200 million dollar payroll. Now they're on to play the Oakland A's for the American League pennant... and if they can beat them, next stop will be the World Series.

It's a good year to be a Tigers fan.

Where's Osama?

It's been about three years now that we've been looking for Osama bin Laden, and we still haven't found him. At last report (if memory serves me correctly), we were even offering a 25-million dollar reward, and still no takers. So, I was thinking that perhaps we need a new approach.

Just as the SETI program sought to harness unused computing power on the public's home computer, to aid in the search for extra-terrestrial life, I believe we could use the nation's pre-schoolers to assist us in the search for bin Laden. After all, they are renowned for finding hard-to-find objects.

I have included the graphic below as a guideline.

Detroit Rocks!

Recently, a friend who lives in another state asked me "What is so great about Detroit?" I had to put some thought into my answer, because I feel quite strongly about the Detroit area. I've lived in other states, but I came back to Michigan. At the time that I last moved back (1992), it was mainly because my family is here. But since then, I've considered moving, but have come to realize that I really like living here.

When most people talk about "Detroit", they are referring to "the Detroit area" or "southeast Michigan". However, for the purpose of this piece, I expand this to include the state of Michigan in general (for the most part).

So why does Detroit (and the state of Michigan) rock?

1. Sports. Detroit is one of the greatest sports cities in America. The Red Wings and the Pistons had the best records in their respective leagues in the past season, even with both having new head coaches. Of course, their playoff records were nothing to celebrate, but you can't have everything, right? And the Tigers, even though they weren't quite as sharp as they could've been in the last week of the regular season, made the playoffs this year for the first time in nearly 20 years. Football? OK, nobody's perfect. The Lions haven't had a great team since... ummmm.... forever. But there's always University of Michigan football. They threaten to have a decent team nearly every year. Oh, and lest I forget: The Detroit Shock recently won their second WNBA championship in four years. (Yes, I do care.)

2. Music. Old school: Ted Nugent, Bob Seger, Motown. New stuff: Eminem, Kid Rock. Somewhere in between: Madonna, Alexander Zonjic.

3. Blue-collar, down-to-earth roots. Even though more and more people are moving to high-tech jobs, most people in the Detroit area have or had at least one family member who worked for Ford, GM, or Chrysler. In other words, we don't walk around with our noses in the air, thinking we're better than other people. It's kinda like the South, only with less heat and less bugs.

4. Four seasons. Even though the weather can be pretty odd at times, we do have all four seasons here. And by the way, I think winter has gotten an undeserved bad rap. Everything needs to have balance, and the seasonal cycle is no exception. Yes, there is snow in the winter, and yes, it does need to be shoveled. But winter's also got its upsides: snowball fights, snow angels, sledding, skiing, ice fishing, Christmas caroling (which, how can that be any fun unless you can see your breath?). And you just can't beat it for a White Christmas. Plus, it makes you appreciate the other seasons, and you think twice before bitching about the heat and humidity in the summertime.

5. Very seldom do we have DEATH WEATHER. What do I mean by that? Earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, wildfires, blizzards, tornados, and so on. We do have the occasional tornado in the summer, but it's very rare to have the killer variety like they do in places like Kansas and Nebraska, where whole towns get destroyed. Blizzards are also pretty rare. Snow, yes, but generally speaking, not of blizzard strength. Also, although not technically weather-related, we don't have much in the way of poisonous snakes, insects, or other critters. I have a friend who moved from the Detroit area to Yuma, Arizona a few years ago. He was telling me how the side of his house was covered with black widow spiders at night. YIKES!!!!! Oh, no big deal, he said, you just have to have someone come and spray your yard every three months. All right, maybe it's just me but this IS a big deal! If you forget to have someone come spray for crabgrass, I suppose you'll survive. But forget to call the spider-spraying dude? Hell, that might be the last thing you ever have a chance to forget! So, no life-or-death spraying situations in Michigan. (I don't want my life in the hands of the Orkin man. No offense.)

6. A system of lakes, rivers, and streams that is virtually unrivalled in the United States. No matter where you are in the state of Michigan, you're not more than six miles away from a body of water. To me, that's a HUGE plus... although I suppose that if you didn't like the water all that much, then that wouldn't be very impressive.

7. Fall colors. One of the best things Mother Nature ever came up with. The leaves on the trees give a display of red, oranges, and yellows that is nothing short of beautiful.

8. Hunting and fishing. OK, I don't do these things myself, but I know lots of people who do, and one thing I've known most of my life is that Michigan totally rocks for hunting and fishing. If you don't believe me, just ask the Nuge.

9. Crime rate. I know Detroit's crime rate gets a bad rap, but if you looked at the crime rate of the three-county Metro Detroit area, you'd find a crime rate on a par with any other major U.S. metropolitan area.

10. Unemployment. Now, I can almost hear you saying, "Wait a minute! Michigan has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country!" Well, OK, you got me there. For now. But... Michigan's econonmy has traditionally had ups and downs in sync with the auto industry. With the rice of gas falling dramatically, I think we'll see a resounding comeback by the Big 3 in a little while. Plus, the state of Michigan is getting into the technology sector more and more with each passing day, especially driven by the research and development of its fine universities.

"Michigan... it's not just for breakfast any more."