100

This is my 100th post. So, in commemoration of that milestone, I have compiled a "100 Things About Me" list. Yes, the same thing you've seen on other web sites... but just to show you that JimMcKee.com is all about value, I've also categorized the items, totally free of charge. You may have seen some of these before...

Places
1. I have been to 30 states in the US: Alabama, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Georgia, Florida, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Missouri, Iowa, Illinois, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Idaho, Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, and of course, Michigan.
2. Oddly enough, I have been to every state that borders Colorado, but have never been to Colorado itself (purely by coincidence).
3. I have been to both Disneyland and Disney World.
4. I have been to the pyramids in Egypt (and in fact, sat on one).
5. I have been to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.
6. I have been to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
7. I have been to Abbey Road Studios in London, England, where the Beatles recorded all of their legendary music (sadly, though, only as far as the lobby, as they weren't giving tours that year).
8. Other countries I've been to: Germany, Belgium, Greece, Cuba, France, Monaco, Spain, Bahrain, Antigua, Haiti, and of course, Canada.
9. Places that I'd like to visit someday: Australia, Antartica, Ireland, & Venice, Italy (plus lots of places in the US, including Alaska and Hawaii).

Fame
10. I was in a play with Christopher Walken.
11. I have met the following country music stars: Charlie Daniels, Marty Stuart, Mark Collie.

Work
12. I have been with current employer for over 7 years.
13. Back in the early 1990's, I was a radio DJ in Jackson, Tennessee, and could be heard in six states.
14. I hope to own a business buying and selling real estate foreclosures. I'm hoping to set the thing in motion in 2007.
15. One of my dream jobs would be to have a nationally syndicated radio talk show.
16. In addition to my current career (computer programmer), I have also held the following jobs: cab driver, security guard supervisor, pizza delivery, ice cream truck driver, cashier, payroll clerk, factory worker, telemarketer, mercenary (oh wait, that was just a dream).
17. I am a veteran of the United States Navy.
18. I considered going into nursing, but I don't think I could deal with all the ickyness.
19. Other careers I considered at one point or another: teacher, veterinarian, actor.

School
20. I attended University of Michigan in 1978-79, but dropped out midway through the second semester. (Doh!)
21. I got my Bachelor's degree from Davenport University in 2003, graduating with high honors, even while working full time.
22. I attended law school, for about five minutes. (Actually, it was about five weeks, but five minutes sounds much funnier!).
23. I am still in semi-regular contact with my two best friends from high school.

Personal
24. I'm an insulin-dependent diabetic.
25. I'm single and available (well, twice-divorced, technically).
26. I have seen, in person, every president i have ever voted for.
27. I have been dabbling in songwriting since I was in my teens. They're easy to start, much harder to finish.
28. I've been dabbling with the acoustic guitar for almost the same length of time. If I would practice consistently, maybe I'd make some progress. Maybe I should take lessons?
29. I've had my guitar since 1982. I bought it from the Navy Exchange catalog, and it was sent to me onboard ship.
30. Back in my late teens and early 20's, it was not uncommon for me to hitchhike. You couldn't pay me enough to do that today.
31. My hair is currently only slightly longer than it is in the photo on my profile; however, a few years ago, it was halfway down my back, and I wore it in a ponytail.
32. I had a beard throughout most of my time in the Navy. These days, you could only do that if you have a medically-diagnosed skin condition.
33. I look funny without a mustache.
34. I can do impressions, including Kermit the Frog, Bill Clinton, and Bullwinkle.
35. I think impressions run in the family, my son does a pretty good Bill Cosby impression.
36. I have NEVER been on a cruise (not counting Navy cruises -- not quite the same).
37. I have flown across the Atlantic ocean five times.
38. I haven't been on a plane since 1984 (not afraid to fly, just never seemed like I had the resources).
39. I have never had a broken bone.
40. I have never had a stitch.
41. I have never been stung by a bee, a wasp, or a hornet.
42. Although not the most coordinated fellow on the planet, I have no problem doing the Vulcan "live long and prosper" hand gesture like on Star Trek.
43. I'm a "junior", named after my father.
44. My mother's name was Daisy; she passed away in 1982.
45. My rap name is Fresh Master Cremestick (OK, that's a long-running joke, but that would be a cool name, wouldn't it? Beats the crap outta P. Diddy.)
46. At this point in time, I cannot imagine ever wanting to hold a higher elected office than Governor of Michigan, because I don't think I'd want to move outside of Michigan.
47. I was born in Chicago, at Michael Reese Hospital.
48. I love to sing, and go to karaoke whenever I get the chance.
49. The very best concert I've ever been to was Paul McCartney. Following that would be Garth Brooks, Bob Seger, and a concert in 1977 that featured James Taylor, John Denver, Gordon Lightfoot and Harry Chapin, all on stage at the same time.
50. The worst concert I've ever been to was Eddie Money. I love his music, but he was so wasted, he didn't know what the hell he was doing. I walked out, I was disgusted.

The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men, blah blah blah...

Wowsers. I never thought it would be so hard to write a hundred things about myself. Anyway, it's halfway done. I will work on the rest, and post a "Part 2" when I get it done.

Holy crap, my brain hurts.

Game Plan For 2007

Lately, I've started thinking about next year. Most people start on about December 29th, come up with some strict New Year's resolution, and stick with it for a day or two, if they're lucky. I want to do more than that. So, I am working on a comprehensive game plan for the entire year, and I didn't want to wait until the last minute.

This was not my original idea. I learned about it from Mark Ijlal, who is the guru of buying and selling foreclosure real estate in the state of Michigan. For mine, the first part is to make a list of everything that I am unhappy with in my life, or that I would like to be different. Next, how would I like each thing to be or turn out. Finally, the steps necessary to get from Point A to Point B.

It sounds incredibly simple, doesn't it? Well, the planning part will probably be the ONLY simple part of the whole thing. But I had a boss, several years ago, who told me, "Plan your work, and work your plan." So... we'll see how it goes.

Buttload

I've thought about something for a long time, a VERY long time. And I have come to a conclusion. Now mind you, I have no facts to back up this conclusion. I'm not even sure that facts EXIST to back up this conclusion. I base my entire argument solely on common sense; however, I think it will be enough to prove my point.

There is no such word as "buttload".

I looked it up at OneLook.com, and it gave me the following possible "near-misses":

busload

bloated

bailout

boutade

brotula

butanol

bullboat

balloted

butland

blattoid

Hell, I've never even HEARD of some of those. (What's a brotula? A special spatula for flipping brots?)

Now, there IS such a word as "boatload". You can see the definition here.

My theory, which I wholeheartedly believe to be true, is that "buttload" is nothing more than a corruption of "boatload". The meanings even correspond (well, the informal meaning of "boatload", anyway).

And if you thought "buttload" was bad enough, recently I've heard people using the term "assload". I'm sorry, that's absolutely NASTY, and conjures up all kinds of mental imagery that, quite frankly, I don't care to see.

She Had A Baby

My friend Tami (along with her husband Roy -- it definitely takes two to tango in this regard) just had the cutest baby girl! So, why don't you stop on over at their blog (well, Tami has done all the writing thus far, but so what!), and congratulate them?

And make sure and tell 'em that you got there from JimMcKee.com !!!

Karaoke Night 11/11/06

So I went out for karaoke this past Saturday night. Went by myself, which is not the best way to go, but it was either that or stay home watching stupid old movies on TV -- how fun is THAT?!?

Got a late start, so I didn't get there until a little after midnight... but even so, I got to do two songs:

Marc Cohn - "Walking In Memphis"
Lee Michaels - "Do You Know What I Mean"

For the latter of the two, it was my first time doing that song. That's been my new philosophy for karaoke recently: always do at least one new song. (On my two previous karaoke outings, my new ones have been "Hush" by Deep Purple, and Rick Derringer's "Rock & Roll Hoochie-Koo".) As far as the Marc Cohn song, I had done it once, about two years ago, but not very well. This time, I was much better. I think I did well on both songs, actually, and I stayed away from my standards, such as "On The Dark Side" or "Bad To The Bone".

Next time, I think I might want to tackle something mellow... perhaps America's "Sister Golden Hair", or maybe something from Gordon Lightfoot.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (or Lack of Same)

So there I was, standing in line at the Post Office. There was a young, reasonably attractive lady in line in front of me, wearing a form-fitting pair of jeans (not that I noticed or anything). She got called to the counter when it was her turn. She told the postal employee, "I need to buy three stamps."

"Would you like Ronald Reagan stamps or baseball stamps?"

"Ugh, Ronald Reagan was a Republican, I don't want those. Give me the baseball stamps."

Come to think of it, she wasn't all that attractive after all.

The Sky Is NOT Falling

My friends, once again I find the need to step out of happy-fun mode, and don the cloak of the thinking man. Continue to read at your own risk.

Two days ago, Proposal 2 passed here in the state of Michigan. Proposal 2, more formally known as the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative, was "a proposal to amend the state constitution to ban affirmative action programs that give preferential treatment to groups or individuals based on their race, gender, color, ethnicity or national origin for public employment, education or contracting purposes" (that is an actual quote of the ballot language). In other words, if you're applying for a government job or a scholarship at a public university, or if you're bidding on a government contract, there will no longer be preferences given for minorities or women; everyone will be treated the same. Sounds pretty straightforward, right? Nothing implies that anyone will be screwed over, or lose any rights that should be afforded to them.

But over the last two days, I have heard so many people, on the radio and TV, as well as in a social group that I'm in, saying things like "it's turning the clocks back fifty years", and so forth. Well, far be it from me to tell anyone which fictional character they should portray, but the Chicken Little routine is pretty ridiculous. The sky is NOT falling. We're not going back to separate drinking fountains, and nobody's giving up their seat on the bus.

Some people even said that Proposal 2 must be bad because it was endorsed by the KKK. First of all, if anyone thinks that a group of ignorant buffoons has any relevance in the 21st Century, they are truly living in a fantasy world. Furthermore... guess what? The KKK also endorses eating food and drinking water. Will we oppose those ideas as well? I personally couldn't care less what the KKK thinks or endorses, and I'd bet good money that most Americans share that opinion.

For over thirty years, we have been bending over backwards, masturbating to the guilt of wrongs that were committed by people who are no longer alive. Enough. Back in the 1970's, there was a compelling reason to say "Group X, you were treated unfairly, so this is our plan to fix that". I don't think anyone in their wildest dreams ever thought that that would be a permanent function. There is only so much fixing that needs to be done.

I'm not saying that there is no discrimination in the United States -- of course, there is, we all know it. What I am saying is that there are plenty of laws on the books to address discrimination, and all we need to do is to see that those laws are enforced.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

I think that's all that any reasonable person wants, a level playing field. And that's what Proposal 2 will give us.

I Voted For...

So, there I was. It was about 7:30 in the evening, on Election Day. The nice election lady had just handed me my ballot, and I was waiting for an available booth. Waiting... that always gets me into trouble, because that's when my mind starts to wander.

Let's face it, here in the U.S., we have a pretty jaded view of our politicians. Of course, they seem like they go out of their way to make us feel that way. But I was thinking to myself, that I'd like to place at least one vote for somebody that I could trust. One person who wasn't going to say one thing and do another, just to get my vote. One person who hadn't spent an entire campaign slinging mud at the opposition on radio and TV. And then suddenly, it dawned on me... there was only ONE person who fit all of those criteria. So, I voted for...

ME.

Yes, I voted for myself. The optical-scan ballot makes it incredibly easy to do a write-in candidate. And let me tell you, if you have never voted for yourself, it is quite an exhilarating feeling. (It was all I could do to keep from laughing hysterically while filling in the little oval.)

(SIDE NOTE: It's too bad that "little people" don't run for office very often. That way, if we felt the need to throw someone out of office, it would be a fairly straightforward procedure.)

"Oh, wait", you're probably thinking, "what did you vote for yourself FOR?"

Who cares?

Just kidding.

University of Michigan Board of Regents. I'm not entirely sure what a regent does, but I'm sure I could do it as regently as anyone else could. Besides, I actually attended the University (for a semester), and I own at least three items of clothing adorned with the school's logo, two of which I was wearing yesterday when I voted, so if that doesn't earn me some street cred, nuthin' will.

I just wish I could see the faces of the vote tabulators when they have one vote for Jim McKee.

"Who the HELL is Jim McKee?"

"Vote for me, and I'll set you free..."

Don't Forget To Vote !!!

Tomorrow is Election Day here in the United States, and as promised, I'm reminding you to get out and vote. I'm not saying that you don't have a right to bitch if you don't vote; I'm saying that if you bitch but don't vote, you're a lame-ass mofo. (Of course, I mean that in the nicest possible way.) For those of you in other countries, you can just sit back and observe the spectacle.

Here in the state of Michigan, the biggest race to be decided is the goober-natorial race. As a public service, here are links to the two main candidates for the office of Head Goober:

Jennifer Granholm, incumbent
Dick DeVos, challenger

I'd also like to offer you the handy-dandy Jim McKee Voting Guide. What is it, you may ask? Well, quite simply, it's a guide to use when you can't make up your mind who or what to vote for, or if you haven't studied up on the issues.

The Jim McKee Voting Guide
1. If you know NOTHING AT ALL about any of the candidates for a given office, vote AGAINST the incumbent. (It's clearly indicated on the ballot which candidate is the incumbent. And for you half-brainers in the crowd, the word "incumbent" means the person who is currently holding the office.) It's far better to have more of the public take their turns as lawmakers.
2. As far as proposals or propositions, read the description of what the actual proposal means. If it seems like it will make life more fair for the greatest number of people, vote for it; otherwise, vote against it.
3. If you can't make heads or tails of the proposal description, vote against it. If it gets defeated, but it was something worthwhile, someone will put it on the ballot again, and maybe next time, they'll do a better job of informing the public.
4. Speaking of heads and tails... when all else fails, flip a coin.

Feel free to print out the Guide, and take it with you when you go to vote.

I'm Jim McKee, and I approve this message.

Gnat City

(More fun stuff heard on the radio... only this time, I was 100% wide-awake...)

There's a big banking chain called National City Bank, and they run a lot of commercials on the radio. In most of them, the only noteworthy thing is the kinda-jazzy, Sheryl-Crow-like theme song. But one caught my attention recently, for a completely different reason...

The investment section of National City calls itself "Nat City Investments". Which is all fine and well in print... but on the radio, "Nat City" sounds exactly like "Gnat City".

Hmmm... maybe I can put that on the agenda for my next vacation... right after Sand Flea Town, and just before I roll into Mosquitoville.